Gays Want These Shorts

I recently saw this cover for Rolling Stone featuring Rihanna and thought two things. 1. When did Rihanna become Sideshow Bob? 2. Where can I get those shorts? (preferably in bronze, goes better with my complexion) 

I, like many beginning gays love the smooth melodies and confusing nationality of Rihanna, but in the hopes of becoming a better gay have learned that her music is so 2009. The most forward thinking gays are listening to Robyn and are loving every moment of it. I am sad to say farewell to gurl, but will always remember...those lovely shorts. I seriously want them. 

...oh well, Tomorrow's A New Gay